According to an 87-year-long Harvard study, the key to happiness isn’t fame, money, or career success — it’s relationships.
Dr. Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist and director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, says the happiest and longest-living individuals consistently share one trait: strong, healthy personal connections.
“Invest in relationships, invest in connections, and invest in the things you find meaningful,” Waldinger said at the New York Times Well Festival. “You won’t be happy all the time, but happiness is likely to find you more often.”
A Simple 2-Minute Exercise to Build Social Fitness
Waldinger offered one quick way to strengthen a personal relationship that takes less than two minutes:
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Take out your phone.
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Think of someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.
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Send them a short message, like:
“Hi, I was just thinking about you and wanted to connect.”
This small act can improve both your day and theirs — and over time, these gestures build a stronger social support network. “Socially fit” people, Waldinger explains, regularly weave small relationship-building moments into their routines, such as texting a friend while waiting in line or calling someone during a commute.
But social connection isn’t the only route to greater happiness. Here are five more evidence-based strategies that can boost wellbeing:
1. Practice Gratitude
Regularly acknowledging what you’re thankful for — even small things — can rewire your brain toward a more positive outlook. Consider keeping a gratitude journal or simply listing three things you’re grateful for each morning.
Try this: Before bed, write down one positive thing that happened today. It could be as small as a good cup of coffee or a kind text from a friend.
2. Move Your Body
Exercise doesn’t just benefit physical health — it’s a powerful mood booster. Even 20 minutes of walking can reduce anxiety and improve overall emotional resilience.
Try this: Take a walk outside during your lunch break. Sunshine and movement together are a powerful combo for boosting mood.
3. Limit Social Media Time
Studies show a link between excessive screen time and lower happiness levels, especially when comparing yourself to others online. Creating boundaries around tech use can help you stay grounded and present.
Try this: Schedule phone-free periods during your day, like during meals or the hour before bed.
4. Do Something Kind
Acts of kindness, no matter how small, increase your sense of purpose and connection. Whether it’s helping a neighbor or complimenting a coworker, these actions ripple outward.
Try this: Each week, do one thing that helps someone else — even if they never find out it was you.
5. Focus on Meaning, Not Just Pleasure
While fun and entertainment have their place, the deepest forms of happiness often come from meaningful work, contribution, and personal growth. Whether through volunteering, creative hobbies, or learning something new, pursuing what matters to you makes a difference.
Try this: Reflect on what gives your life meaning, and carve out more time for it — even 15 minutes a week can add up.
The Bottom Line
Happiness isn’t a constant state — and no one feels joyful all the time. But by consistently investing in your relationships, your health, and the things that give your life purpose, you can significantly improve your overall wellbeing.
As Dr. Waldinger says:
“If you’re doing more of that, you’re more likely to be happy more of the time.”
